Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
there is puke in my bra ... again
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
