i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
