Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize