Christians are straight up FREAKS
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
