I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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