I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
