Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
