Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
