I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
