Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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