I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
