just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
