I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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