There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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