I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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