new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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