He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
