This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
