She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
