I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize