Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I AM VODKA MAN
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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