worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
