New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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