you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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