I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
