You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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