Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
