i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
