Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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