Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
