Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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