You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize