how can u be prego again
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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