I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
one might say we're banned from that church
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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