i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
