so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
