thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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