i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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