1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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