Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
