you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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