Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
