I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You dont lie about slip and slides
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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