A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
