Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize