Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
