It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
