That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
