Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
