Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize