best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
