You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
