Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
should my penis look like a turkey
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
