You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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