I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
