I love black thongs
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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