Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
